Driving to work this morning, cruising with the window down, wind in my hair and the beats pumping, there was a car parked on the side of the road that caught my eye.
Poor guy in his fluro orange vest was bending over on the side of the road ‘chucking his guts up’ ‘Ralphing’ ‘Barfing’ or for those not up to date with the urban dictionary of slang….VOMITING.
Waiting in the car was the driver who weirdly was sitting with one hand on the steering wheel watching his mate – weird….maybe….taking the piss out of his mate….highly likely!!
Poor guy must have had a big weekend but still had the guts (although he was throwing it up) to head to work.
So after having a chuckle to myself as I was driving past, it made me remember a time….oh to recently….that I was in the same shape. Although for the record, I was not wearing a fluro orange vest!!
It was a Saturday night and I was at a cousins engagement party. One drink and another and another and another!! The husband (or prison warden is what seemed more appropriate to me at that particular time) was reminding me that we had to leave as we had to be out early for Mother’s Day breakfast the next morning.
Getting all ‘tough and stuff’ I opted for the old ‘One Last Drink’ trick!!
Now don’t get me wrong and don’t make assumptions, I was by no means ‘out of control’ or ‘on my ear’ I was happy and chatty and VERY hungry. So imagine the 2 year old tantrum I threw when The Prison Warden wouldn’t stop for a cheese burger.
Once we were home, it was straight to bed ready to wake up for a yummy breakfast…..
Birds chirping, sun shining and soft music playing….ok not really. There was no music. As this was Mother’s Day we had planned to head to the hills for a glorious breakfast with hubby’s mum and sisters family. I got out of bed, showered, did my hair and make-up (paused for a moment, took a good hard look at myself in the mirror and told myself to ‘suck it up….you got this!!’) drunk a shit load of water – not enough that I would need a toilet stop….public toilets BLURGH that a whole new blog post and off we went.
Stupidly forgetting the cheese burger episode last night, I sat back and agreed with my thoughts that this would be a piece of cake drive. Might even be able to nod of for half and hour before we get there.
Oh no no no!!!! Silly silly girl. The husband (Prison Warden) was not a happy chappy to say the least. My time spent in the morning getting all pretty allowed him an opportunity to plot his revenge….Mwah ha ha ha ha….
After stopping to pick up the Mother-in-law we started out journey….but in the opposite direction that I would have gone should I have been driving. With the Mother-in-law in the back, we were headed for the hills!!
The hilly hills.
The windy curvy roads that take you to the hills!!
I started to feel a bit unwell….and the squirming in the seat started. I kept telling myself –
‘You got this’
‘Don’t let him win’
‘Remember this for future reference’
Then it happened. You know that feeling you get when you know it’s coming. That build up and there is no going back. Yup – We have all been there Mate.
Telling hubby he needs to pull over, I swung that door open as soon as we stopped. Automatically thinking that the back side of the car was the most appropriate spot to (this bit took me a while to write, with alot of time spent with the Thesaurus trying to find a nicer word to use….I got nothing!) vomit, spew, ralph, purge and barf. Take your pick.
Doing the old ‘sigh’ at the relief of feeling better it was all out. I stood up….took a nice deep inhale of the country air….and there she was. I just did my business less that 30cm from the window where my Mother-in-Law was sitting on the other side.
A polite little smile and it was back in the car for me. Thinking that was it, I settled in ready for breakfast….until round two hit….
After round two I was back in the game and secured my spot at the table with an amazing service of eggs benedict!!
Mmmmm Eggs Benedict!!!!