So I tried to think of a funny one liner title for this blog but I came blank. It’s a straight line title this time around. No beating around the bush with this one!!
It’s only for a week but so far we have had some chuckles. Some belly laughs and me….some cross your legs so you don’t pee yourself kind of giggles.
Mum and Dad have sold their house and are looking for a new home. The plan is to live the caravan park life for a while until they fall in love with a place but until they can get into the caravan park they are backpacking with us!! And by backpacking I mean one sleeping on one of the girls single bed and the other on a foam mattress on the floor. At least we know there will be no hanky panky with them being on separate beds!! Ewww Gross!!!!
Having not lived with my parents for 20+ years, I must say it has been a fun yet weird experience so far.
Prime example of weird – let me take you back to when you were a teenager….
Remember when you would sit in the lounge room with your parents and siblings and a kissing scene would come on the TV. Sometimes even Heavy Petting (OMG funniest term ever – ‘Hey Honey – want to heavy pet?’) and it would be major awkies and honestly man – where do you look?
Well Monday night Hubby and I were in the front room watching the TV series ‘The Detour’. It’s a comedy show. Not a family show but definitely not R rated. It’s basically about a family of four and their move to NY. Harmless right. Mum and Dad were in the next room.
All was going well until they start discussing having another baby (let’s just clarify that we are talking about the TV show here – not my parents –double eww) and they lock the door because their 12 year twins are home and they don’t want to be interrupted. All going well so far.
Wife and Husband are ready to start doing the deed and the wife starts to ‘Prep’ the husband. Let’s not go into detail here but lets just say that it was not ‘All hands above the quilt’.
Let’s all just pause for a second and shout a bit HELLO to my Mum and Dad (they will be reading this).
I started to get a bit uncomfortable at this stage by some of the groaning that was going on. But let me clarify that it wasn’t young 20 year old no kids (and no parents at home) kind of groaning – it was more like – hurry up, I have shit to do and the kids are downstairs kind of groaning’
I’m shooting ‘OMG God’ looks to my husband who is casually playing Candy Crush and every now and then glancing up to the TV with some weird creepy look on his face.
Our Conversation went :-
I whisper ‘Honey. Turn it down’
Hubby looks at me ‘Nup’
Me ‘Um this is weird and they can hear it – turn it down’
Hubby shakes his head and laughs ‘Nope’
Still on the ‘Prep’ stages on the telly, they start talking some trash talk to get things moving a bit – stuff that didn’t make sense to me. Something along the lines of ‘on your back like Italy’. I am horrified at that moment and get the giggles. Giggles to the point that I cry.
Me to Hubby ‘Please turn it off – this is weird now’
Hubby ‘They know how babies are made’
Next minute the kid on the telly starts knocking on the door of the parents bedroom and the Mum says the husband ‘here’s the cockblocker’ so the kid start running down the hallway acting like a rooster screaming ‘COCKBLOCKER COCKBLOCKER COCKBLOCKER’
Yep, imagine how relaxed and in the chill zone I was feeling. Hubby is in hysterics and laughing with tears rolling down. I’m horrified and worried that Mum and Dad might think we are into some kinky kind of shit and trying to get him to turn it off and the kid on telly is screaming ‘COCKBLOCKER’ still at the top of her lungs.
Managed to get the TV off and headed straight to be, not looking anyone in the eye.
Next morning – like a kid – my Dad says to me at the breakfast table….
‘What were you carrying on about last night’
I am just praying that he was talking about all the laughing!!